Unfortunately, most topics I come across require me to be 24/7. Rats. I don't have enough experience in my type of play to be able to answer the topic questions, or to discuss them. I have no opinion. *sigh* The only thing I can do is read down the topic list and repeatedly say, "Does not apply" and move on to the next topic.
I perused topics today; every single one of them I'd consider with experience - finding that it didn't fit our lifestyle - or that I lacked experience totally. I even tried to see if I could form a topic from some of them that MIGHT fit. No dice.
I came across this same issue over and over again.
Then I saw it.
THEE topic.
It's not QUITE what I had in mind and as I went further down I encountered another question."What began as a fantasy that you later took into action? "
"Did you know entering your relationship that it would be a Master/slave relationship, or has it evolved from a different dynamic over time?"
My whole life, I've been the Alpha. There was not a single bone in my body that I considered to be "submissive" and yet I found that I not only am I submissive, but what I've been actually doing is searching my whole life for the one man out there who would be my Master. I found Him.
I like being spanked. I cannot remember when that came to be an interest to me. I like having my hair caught in a grip at my nape, having my neck bitten, being marked all over by the One to whom I belong.
I like seeing bondage and imagining myself in those positions results in a combination of feelings: Excitement & Peace.
The idea of being claimed has always appealed to me. Perhaps it was the years of being cast aside for others, but I think the need and desire to be claimed was always there.
Oddly enough, when I got with this man, our relationship had nothing to do with M/s-D/s at all. He wasn't searching for a mate any more than I was, so what developed was a complete and quite wonderful surprise for us both. It actually took me seeing a comment to him from a previous submissive of his on the game we frequented together for me to ask questions. I'll never like her, as she was before me... but I owe her for opening my eyes to this world and daring to ask questions I'd never asked before.
Hm. I'll never like her. Interesting thought, this. Master questions why, as this was an old relationship that wasn't even much of a relationship. I cannot honestly explain. It is a gut feeling. An old feeling. Probably one that stems from multiple replacement wives slowly pushing me aside. *shrug*
Anyway. I think I'll make a tentative topic list and - hopefully - this will drive me to regular writing. Maybe not daily. Haha. I can't imagine writing daily. But once a week, that I can probably do. *winks*
I take these from http://www.submissiveguide.com/journalprompts/ and thank you so much lunaKM!
- Are you called a ’slut’ or some other endearment which traditionally carries a negative connotation?
- Do you like sensory deprivation of any kind?
- Describe what a beautiful view is to you.
- What do you do to define your work mindset from your submissive one?
- What is your favorite form of service? (Can a person REALLY write a journal entry about cock worship? LOL!)
- Is a slave held to a higher standard of compliance than a submissive?
- Have you ever signed a D/s contract? If so, share what points it had in it, the responsibilities of both partners and how you felt when you signed it.
- Whenever possible, choose joy.
- How do you define failure? How does your owner define failure?
- Have you felt illness or other factors (depression, stress, PMS, etc) interfere with your ability to serve as well as you want? How do you handle those times?
- Tell a story about some of your favorite marks. (I LOL'd!)
- “Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments.
I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous.” -Anaïs Nin - What line in a song do you often ‘hear’ in your head?
- What seven words would you use to describe yourself?
- Is love a part of your dynamic? Can love coexist in a Master/slave relationship?
- What is your most favorite part of your Owner’s body? Do you pay it special attention? How would you feel about having to worship that body part as a part of your service?
