“I am your servant. I shall not be free. You will protect me; you will
keep me safe; you will guard me. You will keep me sound; you will
protect me from every demon.” – Ancient Egyptian woman’s slave contract.
Breaking it down:
I am your servant. Sir, this girl has no problem with this for now and forever. You are a wonderful Master and I trust Your decisions and Your handling of me. I love to serve You. I live to serve, but only You.
I shall not be free. It will be interesting to see how I fare with this one, though I know it is for the best and my full trust is in You, Sir. My individuality and personality were borne on my freedom to be myself. However, there are terrible habits within me... self-destructive habits, and in my lifetime of freedom before You, I have let self-destruction rule me. I look forward to You taking my freedom and molding me to Your will.
You will protect me; You will keep me safe; You will guard me. In the time that I spent in Your presence, I believe I came to fully understand what this meant, yet still I learn more each day. Every day, even 2200 miles apart, I understand more and more what this means. You will keep me safe from other people's attacks in every form. There will be no physical attack on me. There will be no verbal attack on me. I am not even to speak ill of myself. (More on that in the demons section)
You will keep me sound. I can only take this to mean that You will keep me at peace. There will be no battling of wills, not within me, not with You, not within my family nor tiny circle of friends. You will mold my physical body so that it is safe, sound and healthy as well. You will ensure that my mind, my worst enemy, acquiesces to Your will, then this girl will finally know peace of soul.
You will protect me from every demon. Hmm. I like the sound of this. I'd like to see how You will protect me from every demon - most of those live in my head - but I bet You have a plan.
Of course, we must discuss what demons might be in my head.
Demons:
Anxiety, leading to all sorts of different self-destructive behaviors. Perhaps it is the behavior You shall address rather than the demon itself as it may be a unbalance of brain chemical demon, leading me to a new path in my brain on how to react to the demon.
The Past, that hauntingly familiar entity that eats at every decision anyone makes, until I unconsciously question every move I do or see in order to ensure I do not screw up again or get screwed. Interior interrogation of my own mind sucks!
Onward.
Sir, You tell me that it is so easy to love me and it must be true but this girl cannot fathom such a thing. I simply cannot see it. The Past, Anxiety; those play a horrific role in my ability to fairly judge my own value. So I put my trust in You. You will lead me and You will take care of me. I will take care of You too. I love you.
