There is a poem that fits me. It suits me well... or at least it did. Here's the poem:
The Tumbleweed.
Where do they come from,The Tumbleweed?Where do they go to,The Tumbleweed?Who knows whence is their life so free,Born on the prairies' shadowless sea?Who knows of the parents they boast,This tossing, fringed, homeless host?Who knows where they bury their deadWhen the winds', high requiem is said?__Vagrants alway,The Tumbleweed!Where do they come from,The Tumbleweed?Where do they go to,The Tumbleweed?Ask of the breezes that sigh and fall;Ask of the winds that shriek and call;Ask of the changing lights that passOver the wheat, the corn, the grass;Ask of the rose-gray mists that creepLike mother-watch o'er the prairies' sleep,__Vagrants alway,The Tumbleweed!Where do they come from,The Tumbleweed?Where do they go to,The Tumbleweed?Suddenly at your feet they lie,Laughing, tumbling, go rolling by;Over the blue-bound prairies leap,No faith, no love, no tryst they keep;Free and wild is the will they boast,This tossing, fringed, homeless host,__Vagrants alway,The Tumbleweed!__Hannah Rea Woodman.
Here's the situation. All my life I was a tumbleweed and perfectly happy with that idea. I moved a lot. I moved every time I felt interested in going elsewhere. I never felt tied to any one place. Renting helps...
I own a house now. I didn't want that with every fiber of my being, my ex did. He insisted. I shrugged and said, "Sure," figuring the relationship was a forever thing.
Nope.
Try again.
So now I'm in this house, see. I can't complain... it's paid for. I'm scraping financially though. I ask myself, "Why??? It's not like I go on spending sprees!" So today I made a chart to see what was going on with my finances. Guess what? Hell, I don't make but just enough to live every year after the cost of house tax and insurance! For ME, this is a tremendous incentive to SELL the damn house! Of course that leaves me with capital gains tax, which I feel is tremendously unfair considering this house was paid for with inheritance (that doesn't get taxed here, thank goodness!) so pretty much once you buy a house, the government tries to keep you in one, whether you like it or not. Unfair, I say! but that's an argument/discussion for some other time.
I always liked renting. I didn't have to worry about trying to plan, find workers for, get installed, or afford maintenance costs of a house. Need a new roof, or a new air conditioner? Washer or dryer not working? Refrigerator broke down? Not my problem as a renter.
Although... I don't know where I'd find a rental place with room for this ginormous bedroom furniture set. o.o Might have to lose that.
I like the garage feature with my owned house too...not many rentals with those.
So you see, my arguments go back and forth ceaselessly. But the gist of it today is... the chart says I better do something to cut a cost somewhere. Wish me luck because truly, I wish to be with my Master and truly, I don't know how that is going to happen anytime soon with the way things are going and the ridiculous immigration rules of my country.
*sigh* Again... wish me luck.
I own a house now. I didn't want that with every fiber of my being, my ex did. He insisted. I shrugged and said, "Sure," figuring the relationship was a forever thing.
Nope.
Try again.
So now I'm in this house, see. I can't complain... it's paid for. I'm scraping financially though. I ask myself, "Why??? It's not like I go on spending sprees!" So today I made a chart to see what was going on with my finances. Guess what? Hell, I don't make but just enough to live every year after the cost of house tax and insurance! For ME, this is a tremendous incentive to SELL the damn house! Of course that leaves me with capital gains tax, which I feel is tremendously unfair considering this house was paid for with inheritance (that doesn't get taxed here, thank goodness!) so pretty much once you buy a house, the government tries to keep you in one, whether you like it or not. Unfair, I say! but that's an argument/discussion for some other time.
I always liked renting. I didn't have to worry about trying to plan, find workers for, get installed, or afford maintenance costs of a house. Need a new roof, or a new air conditioner? Washer or dryer not working? Refrigerator broke down? Not my problem as a renter.
Although... I don't know where I'd find a rental place with room for this ginormous bedroom furniture set. o.o Might have to lose that.
I like the garage feature with my owned house too...not many rentals with those.
So you see, my arguments go back and forth ceaselessly. But the gist of it today is... the chart says I better do something to cut a cost somewhere. Wish me luck because truly, I wish to be with my Master and truly, I don't know how that is going to happen anytime soon with the way things are going and the ridiculous immigration rules of my country.
*sigh* Again... wish me luck.
